Jacque from Oklahoma asks. . .
Will people who go to hell remember their loved ones and long for them?

Thank you for your interest in Bob Yandian Ministries and the Real Answers Program. I want to handle your question as compassionately as possible, yet present a biblically based reasoning. Any time true believers consider the eternal fate of those who have not accepted the gift of Life through Jesus Christ, it brings a sense of sorrow. This of course is in accord with the very heart of God. Consider:

JOHN 3:16-17
For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world that He might judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.

MATTHEW 20:28:
…just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life--a ransom for many.

1 TIMOTHY 2:4–6:
…(God) who wants everyone to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. 5 For there is one God and one mediator between God and man, a man, Christ Jesus 6 who gave Himself a ransom for all, a testimony at the proper time.

2 PETER 3:9:

The Lord does not delay His promise, as some understand delay, but is patient with you, not wanting any to perish, but all to come to repentance.

God’s interest is in bringing people to salvation and eternal life. This is the message of the Bible—God’s Plan of Redemption for All Mankind. Yet, He also knows that some will not desire the “life” He has planned, and that His own Son, Jesus Christ, has purchased with the cost of his blood. In John 3:23–36, John the Baptist is speaking with his own disciples about Jesus, the Messiah, and testifying of the relationship between their ministries. In closing, he makes this statement: “…the one who believes in the Son has eternal life, but the one who refuses to believe in the Son will not see life; instead, the wrath of God remains on him.” It is in “believing” that we have eternal life. That is what God wants for us, and He waits for all to receive Him.

But, those who will not accept this gift have left themselves subject to the “wrath of God”—His judgment against the “sin” of mankind. John says this judgment “remains” on them. This indicates it was on all who have believed also, but in the action of their “believing on the Son” they have been taken out from under the “wrath of God.” The whole world lies in judgment—accepting Jesus as Savior brings us life and removes us from the penalty of sin. How? Because we have accepted the truth that Jesus’ suffering and death were intended for us, and we see in Him our true Substitute / Redeemer / Sacrifice. Our judgment was laid upon Him—ALL of the world’s judgment was laid upon Him. But, it is only in “believing” that we are saved!

John 5:24:
I assure you: Anyone who hears My word and believes Him who sent Me has eternal life, and will not come under judgment but has passed from death to life.

Okay, so what about your question? We know that God has desired all men to be saved, but we also know that not all will be there. We know from 2 PETER 2:9, God is not “willing” that any should perish, but because He will not violate man’s will to choose, some are being “allowed“ to perish. We also know it was mankind who desired to follow their own lusts and refused to “retain the knowledge of God in their hearts” (Romans 1:21; 28). They will face judgment because of their own choice and the rejection of the gift of Jesus Christ.

This leads us to the only passage that gives us a glimpse of the fate of those in Hades (Hades is the “temporary abode” of the dead who have died without belief in the Messiah / Redeemer. Just as Abraham’s Bosom /Paradise is the temporary abode of those who died believing in / waiting for the Messiah / Redeemer. Hell / Gehenna / The Lake of Fire is the eternal place of the “damned,” just as the New Heaven is the eternal abode of the “saved”). Luke 16: 19–31 tells the account of 2 men and the “afterworld” in which each one abides. Although there are many significant points to this story, I will only comment on the things that directly pertain to your question.

  1. Notice the difference in the state of their abode. Lazarus is in a place of comfort, peace, tranquility, affectionate care. The rich man is in a place of great torment, suffering, fear, lack, and longing—with no escape or relief.
  2. Lazarus seems totally “unconcerned / unaffected” by the issues of the rich man. It isn’t even clear that Lazarus has any knowledge of the issues taking place, across the “gulf that is fixed between” them. There is mention that those in the place of comfort may not pass from there to Hades, but we are not given any sense that Lazarus was at all concerned for the rich man.
  3. For the rich man, however, the knowledge of the comfort and attention that Lazarus is receiving only adds to the suffering he is encountering. He longs for something from there—even just a drop of water—anything to ease his misery.
  4. The rich man sees Lazarus and Abraham. He is able to converse with Abraham but to no avail—he will receive nothing from him—not even pity.
  5. The rich man is not going to receive a “second chance.” His decisions were sealed at the time of his death. Lazarus is not where he is because he was poor and oppressed. It is obvious from the account that it was something he “did” while in his earthly years. He looked with “hope” to the promise of the “Messiah / Redeemer”—One who would deliver him from the bondage of this world, and restore him to life.
  6. The rich man is aware of his fate, why he is there, and what needed to be done to prevent it. And, he is concerned for all those of his family (and probably others) who are living as he did—with no concern for the future life.
  7. Abraham’s response is only to the fact that everything they need to be able to enter the place of peace and comfort (Paradise) has been revealed to them through the writings of the Old Testament—Moses and the prophets. (The New Testament clearly presents that the principles leading to Eternal Life are revealed through the teachings of the Law, the Sacrificial Codes, the symbols of the Tabernacle and the Temple, and the Words of the Prophets from David to Malachi). Mankind is responsible to these things which God has given. (Jesus ministered in a similar manner to the Pharisees. They “knew” the intricate workings, every fine line, every “jot and tittle” of the Law—but they didn’t recognize the Messiah when He appeared.)
  8. As it is with the rich man, so also for his family—there will be no second chance. Everything necessary for expressing faith in the Messiah had been revealed. But their hearts were hardened to the message—like the rich man, they were only concerned about what they could get/have in this life. Like too many today, they were waiting for a later time to think about eternity.
  9. Finally Abraham reveals the real issue—its not works of goodness, obedience to the Law, or denying earthly gain—they would not believe if “someone were to rise from the grave.” One (the very one who was telling the story) would, as a fact, rise from the dead—and people still would not believe!

Very clearly, here, the issue is not “works” but “faith.” It’s all about what one believes. The eternal fate of all mankind is determined by the simple act of believing in Jesus Christ. God has done all that is necessary to bring us to salvation/eternal life—the plan was formed; the work was accomplished; the message has been revealed. Mankind is without excuse!

In light of all that, will we feel sorrow for those who are in Hell when we are in Heaven? No. Today, yes! Absolutely! If God were to reveal to us a vision of those who are in the place of Hades, awaiting their eternal judgment, we would be overwhelmed with grief. That is the “compassion” we have for humanity. Jesus wept over Jerusalem as He was on the way to the cross. That was the “passion” of the Savior. And, He knew they would not receive Him even as He was dying for them.

But, when He returns, He will have no tears. He is returning to judge the world—not to save them. The world has this time to receive. That’s why God is “waiting”. And, that’s why we have the commission to preach the Gospel!

HEBREWS 9:26–28:
…But now He has appeared one time, at the end of the ages, for the removal of sin by the sacrifice of Himself. 27 And just as it is appointed for people to die once--and after this, judgment-- 28 so also the Messiah, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for Him.

MARK 14:62:
"I am," said Jesus, "and all of you will see the Son of Man seated at the right hand of the Power and coming with the clouds of heaven.”

Since 1 John 3:2 declares that, “…when He appears, we shall be like Him,” I must believe that our attitude toward the unbelievers will be the same as His. This could only be possible because He will “change our lowly bodies to be conformed to His glorious image” (Philippians 3:21). Our “flesh” will be gone, along with all of its passions. We will no longer be moved by earthly emotions of grief, loss, sorrow, or guilt. We will be able to look upon the issues of eternal life and death from a godly perspective. We will know absolutely the grace given us in the sacrifice of God’s Son. We will love and appreciate, more deeply than words can express, the love God has for us. We will worship more intensely than this body of flesh can contain. We will be occupied with the glory of our God and Savior.

And, we will have a solemn regard for the judgment God has reserved for the Devil and his angels. This same judgment is what those who have “rejected the salvation that could be theirs” have received. REVELATION 21:4 says, “God will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will exist no longer; grief, crying, and pain will exist no longer, because the previous things have passed away.”

As for those in Hell, we have no record outside of the passage in Luke 16. They know why they are there, what they could have changed, and what it takes to avoid their fate. There is salvation ONLY through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

Geof W. Jackson, read bio
Director of the Grace School of Ministry/Director of Pastoral Care


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