Thank you for your
question. Your question does not reveal whether people are coming
to you with gossip or you are overhearing people gossip. If someone
is gossiping to you, then you are responsible to let them know
that you do not listen to gossip and politely ask them to refrain
from doing so. That will usually solve the problem right away even
if they seem offended at first. Most Christians will realize that
gossiping is wrong and eventually ask for forgiveness.
In answering the question about overhearing someone gossip and
bringing correction, let’s look at some scriptures that might
help determine when and how to bring correction to others when
they are in error. These principles will also apply to correcting
someone who is gossiping.
Romans 15:14:
And I myself also am persuaded of you, my brethren, that ye
also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, able
also to admonish one another.
This scripture tells us as believers that as we fill our lives
with the goodness and knowledge of the Word of God that we will
be able (or capable) to admonish one another. The word “admonish” in
the Greek means to reprove or caution gently.
2 Thessalonians 3:14:
And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that
man, and have no
company with him, that he may be ashamed.
2 Thessalonians 3:15:
Yet count him not as an enemy, but admonish him as
a brother.
This is the same word to reprove or caution gently.
There are times that we are called by God to admonish another Christian
brother or sister. However, this correction must be done in love
or gently.
Galatians 6:1:
Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which
are spiritual, restore such a one in the spirit
of meekness; considering thyself,
lest thou also be tempted.
Here we see that when we bring correction to another believer
that there are conditions and guiding principles to do it. First
of all, correction should be done by a person who is spiritual.
This means someone walking in fellowship with God who has judged
his or her own sins by confessing them to God. (1 John 1:9) As
we have seen in Romans 15:14, we will be able to bring true loving
and godly correction when we are filled with both the goodness
and knowledge of God’s Word. Next, the correction needs to
be done in meekness and gentleness. We should not stand on our
soap box and preach to others or condemn them with harshness. Those
who are spiritual know their own fleshly tendency towards sin and
realize that they can only walk free from sin by God’s grace,
His Word, and His Spirit. Therefore, those who are spiritual are
slow to judge or be harsh. Lastly, we need to examine our own lives
to see if we are guilty of the very thing that we are about to
correct another about.
Matthew 7:1-5:
Judge not, that ye be not judged.
2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with
what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. 3 And
why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but
considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? 4 Or
how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out
of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? 5 Thou
hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and
then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's
eye.
Often we judge others not realizing we are guilty of the same
thing, although the circumstances might be slightly different.
Now let’s look at the book of Proverbs for some more guidelines
for bringing correction to others. The book of Proverbs is wisdom
for living. It contains practical wisdom for bringing correction
to others.
Proverbs 27:6:
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but
the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
Again when you bring correction to another it might offend them
at first. It is painful to be confronted with truth or with correction
when we are wrong. Our pride gets hurt. But faithful are the wounds
of a friend. This verse brings out another important point on giving
instruction. In most cases you need to earn the right to
bring correction to others. Notice that the wounds of
a FRIEND are faithful not wounds of a stranger!
If someone knows you are correcting them because you love them
they will be much more open to receive it. If you have not established
a relationship with the person you are correcting, they will probably
say, “Mind your own business!” Or, “Go jump in
the lake!” If someone is your friend, you know what kind
of person they are and whether or not they will be helped by your
correction. Because some people are resistant to correction, they
will not be helped until they have a change of heart.
Proverbs 23:9:
Speak not in the ears of a fool:
for he will despise the wisdom of thy words.
Proverbs 9:8:
Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate
thee: rebuke a wise man, and he will
love thee.
We are not to rebuke a scorner. We are to rebuke a wise person.
Again, if you are not friends with the person you are trying to
correct, how can you determine whether they are a foolish scorner
or a wise person? Also note that no one is ever beyond correction.
Because we are still in the flesh, even wise people will make mistakes
and need correction. But the difference between a wise person and
the fool is the wise person will love you for bringing correcting
from God’s Word.
Here are some general guidelines for bringing correction:
- Fill yourself with the goodness and knowledge of God by staying
in God’s Word and prayer.
- Correct with gentleness
- Examine your own life for what the other person has done
- Examine your motives for bringing correction; is it selfish
or motivated by love?
- Have you earned the right to bring correction—are you
friend?
- Will this correction be helpful? Is the person you are correcting
wise or a scorner?
- Lastly, has God instructed you to bring correction to the other
person? Often people want to correct others out of a prideful
or critical heart with the motive of “straightening out” the
other person.
I hope this has helped. Pray, and follow love and peace.
God bless,
Rick McFarland bio
Director/Singles Director
Real Answers bookstore
Grace Church
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